I Was Excited About Retirement; Instead..

I was excited about retirement; instead, I got cancer, 4th stage

I had made plans to really enjoy my first retirement summer; instead I spent 2 1/2 months being tested and evaluated

I wanted to have a celebration of my retirement; instead, I saw no one but my family all summer long

I had just joined a senior aerobics class to lose weight and get healthy; instead, I had to withdraw from the class after attending one session

I was excited about doing things with my family; instead, they ended up worrying about and taking care of me

I was eager to try out new things; instead, I spent my time in chemotherapy, radiation treatment and recovering from each round of treatment

I was looking forward to spending relaxed time with friends; instead, I was too sick to see anyone

We usually have a big house party around Christmas; instead we spent the Christmas holidays alonebecause I wasn’t up to having visitors

Everyone complained about the weather all winter; instead, I was glad I didn’t have to drive to work

The New Year came and people made resolutions; instead, I wished for more time with my family

The weeks went by and people were busy with their lives; instead, I was silently waiting to hear my prognosis

Everyone said I looked better and had more energy; instead of being happy, I felt scared

I thought the day would never come that I would learn the results of my ordeal; instead, the call I had been waiting for finally came one morning…I was cancer free!

The doctor who called was very excited and happy for me; instead, I was numb and grateful

Friends and relatives called and emailed to congratulate me; instead, I was unable to share their joy

Weeks went by and I wondered if I would ever be happy again; instead, I began to do things and spend less time thinking about myself

As I got busier, I realized my mood was lifting; instead of feeling fear and anxiety, I was being to look forward to each new day

Six months ago I sat alone for hours each day waiting for the day to be over; instead, now I am so busy there aren’t enough hours in the day

Whereas not so long ago I had lost all passion; instead, I am now passionate about everything

A month ago, I no longer had a community to belong to; instead, Slice of Life has provided me with “instant” community

I no longer turned away offers from friends to visit me; instead, I hosted a small dinner party for friends who had helped me through my ordeal

I didn’t succumb to cancer; instead, I am one of the lucky ones.  I am, for now, cancer free!